Welcome to Day 2 of Blogtober 2019.
I’ve touched on my reasoning behind setting up a blog before. In short, I like to talk. While I come across as pretty quiet to a lot of people, it’s probably no surprise to those who know me that once I start talking, there’s no shutting me up.
I guess I kind of have that internal monologue going on a lot of the time. Perhaps it’s because I spent so much time reading books featuring other people’s internal monologues, but sometimes I like to share what I’ve been thinking about.
I’ve kept diaries of one form or another since I was about ten or eleven, and I’ve blogged on various platforms since I was a teenager. When I became a parent I decided to start over with Of Needles & Noodles as a place to document the things I got up with my son.
Before this I’d had a blog where I documented the journey to have our son, right back from when we got the news in 2012 that we’ve need IVF to actually have a child. I shared the whole journey as well as the eventual pregnancy, but there was too much baggage on that blog and it made it hard for me to continue using it for my parenting adventures.
Infertility has the strangest way of infiltrating all areas of your life and you can never truly escape from it. It made my blog feel like it was written by some other Cait, the one from before who couldn’t have children, so writing it once I had him felt a little like wearing a shoe that was a size too small.
What about the name?
My old blog was called Click’s Clan, a combination play on my name and nod to the fact that I lived in Scotland and hoped to have a gaggle of children someday. Part of what held me back was the name; I didn’t feel so much like just Cait anymore, I was Cait the Mummy, and the reality was, there might never be a ‘Clan’ there might just be an ‘only’.
So Of Needles and Noodles was born when the Noodle was about six months old.
Needles because of the needles it took to make him, and the knitting needles I like to use to create toys. Noodles because somehow by the time he was just a few days old, Laurence had earned the nickname Noodle in that funny way that nicknames seem to be acquired (I answer to Caketin at work), but also because noodles was often our dish of choice when we stopped by the Chinese buffet after IVF appointments.
It’s a name which is less about who I am and more about what we do as a family.
And why do I blog?
Quite simply, because I can. Because I like to shout into the ether and occasionally hear a voice back saying that they understand, or like what I’ve said, or can relate to what I’m going through. Because sometimes I feel like I have so many thoughts in my head that they need somewhere to spill out so I can focus on other things instead.
Because my little boy is only going to be little once and I want somewhere to share and remember and document the things we do together and the places we go.
And because I want to offer some kind of hope to that woman who is preparing to do an injection, or have another invasive scan or procedure, or is beginning that agonising wait to find out if her embryo is going to be The One, that you can get through IVF treatment and come out the other side as a parent.
This blog post is part of a series for Blogtober 2019, check out below for a list of prompts:
Do you blog or keep a diary? How do you record your memories?